February 13th - February 19th 2006
Sunday Whitechapel
Saturday Party
Friday Peckham
Thursday Shadwell
Wednesday Phoning at the mouth
Tuesday Flowers
Monday Dead lucky
Sunday 19th February
Whitechapel, Winter 2006
Saturday 18th February
Sometimes you can't help but admire the sheer cussed out-of-touchness of columnists on broadsheet newspapers.
As with the (otherwise admirably eclectic) Christopher Howse, writing in a recent Telegraph piece that:
Leaving your average Metro-reader - speedreading something left behind on the tube - more than a little confused.Some kind of lock-in at a dodgy gaff in Kilburn?
Friday 17th February
A woman has told an Old Bailey jury how a boy confessed to her to being in the gang which killed Damilola Taylor.
Orlando Pownall QC, defending the boy, suggested she had made it up, adding that she and the boy did not appear on CCTV footage talking outside the library.
Mr Pownall asked: "It isn't every day that someone confesses to a murder on a park bench, is it?"
She replied: "It is in Peckham."
Thursday 16th February
Shadwell, Winter 2005
Wednesday 15th February
1600hrs: Wake up with just about the right amount of time to get arse swiftly in gear and meet Jonathan at 1730 at the White Cube as planned.
1610hrs: Halfway through first cup of coffee. Fetch mobile phone from coat pocket. Mobile phone display says 'Insert SIM card'.
1615hrs: Assuming problem may be somehow related to battery status, plug phone into charger. Second cup of coffee.
1625hrs: Mobile phone display says 'Insert SIM card'. Turn phone off, pull apart, remove battery, remove SIM card, re-insert SIM card. Mobile phone display says 'Insert SIM card'.
1625hrs: Repeat. And repeat.
1626hrs: Mobile phone display says 'Insert SIM card'.
1627hrs: Remove SIM card. Fetch previous mobile phone, pull apart, insert SIM card. Mobile phone display says 'Unable to read SIM card'.
1628hrs: Sigh.
1630hrs: Track down similar model on eBay. Bid £10. Bid accepted.
1645hrs: Arse in gear. Leave home.
1655hrs: On a bus heading towards Liverpool Street. Can't ring Jonathan to confirm. Feel crippled. Worry about what to do about cash. Remember that mobile phone is not necessary to get cash. See man in silly hat. Worry that I may freeze now that I've lost my own silly hat. Remember that silly hat is still safely ensconced in coat pocket.
1705hrs: Arrive Liverpool Street. Walk up Bishopsgate to Carphone Warehouse.
1707hrs: Standing in queue at Carphone Warehouse. Customer at desk departs. Walk up to desk. Man behind desk regrets he is going home now.
1708hrs: Standing in queue at Carphone Warehouse.
1710hrs: Approach salesman. Explain situation. Apologise for age of mobile phone. Explain that it does what I want, and does not do what I don't want.
1715hrs: Salesman checks whether SIM card is functional. It is.
1716hrs: Salesman offers variety of glitzy phones with startling and complex contracts.
1718hrs: Insist on PayAsYouGo. Emphasise requirement for a phone that does what I want, and does not do what I don't want.
1719hrs: Spot small, relatively unglitzy phone. No camera: good. No MP3 player: good. £34.99: good.
1720hrs: Politely reject 'special offer' of accessory pack for £10. Hand over credit card. Salesman hands over cumbersome pack containing phone, charger, instructions, brochure, leaflets, coupons.
1721hrs: Enter pin number for credit card. Open phone package. Insert old SIM in new phone. Put phone in top pocket. Put charger in left side pocket. Put manual in right side pocket. Thank salesman. Exit Carphone Warehouse.
1724hrs: Walking up Shoreditch High Street. Text Jonathan to confirm.
1730hrs: Meet Jonathan at the White Cube as planned.
Tuesday 14th February
Lots of people on the tube tonight carrying flowers.
What's that all about then?
Monday 13th February
My favourite title from the shortlist for this year's Diagram Prize is How People Who Don't Know They're Dead Attach Themselves To Unsuspecting Bystanders and What To Do About It
(I think we've all had nights like that; I know I have.)
......previous week
