November 7th - November 13th 2005
Sunday Electrifying
Saturday St Mary Woolnoth
Friday Lichfield RIP
Thursday Chinese whispers
Wednesday Chinese whispers
Tuesday Buggery (again)
Monday Airbourne
Sunday 13th November 2005
It sounds better (or rather worse) in French
Details of the assault came as a further embarrassment to police after the TF1 channel filmed an officer taunting an Arab youth in a suburb of Lyons about the accidental electrocution of two teenagers whose deaths sparked the unrest. The officer was heard to say: "Do you want me to take you to an electricity sub-station?" The incident is under investigation.
Saturday 12th November 2005
St Mary Woolnoth, Autumn 2005
Friday 11th November 2005
Patrick Lichfield was an anecdotalist par excellence, a talent that made the job of ghost-writing his memoirs a positive pleasure - except on those rare occasions when, incumbent to favour truth over fiction, I pointed out minor inconsistencies and got roundly - and very grandly - rebuked for my trouble.
Although generally the soul of discretion, wine and marijuana loosened his tongue somewhat; there were several extended interview sessions in his sitting room at Shugborough that ended with us both on the floor in fits of giggles - followed by a minatory "Better not put that in the book, old bean."
Happily, I remember none of those stories now. (Though, hmm, I still have the tapes somewhere.)
Although not, strictly speaking, of royal blood Patrick was by no means averse to using his royal connections in pursuit of lucrative contracts: the 5th Earl of Lichfield was, amongst many other qualities, a deeply commercial man. (Getting hit by double death duties at an early age hadn't helped the family finances.)
He was fiercely, and justifiably, proud of his hard-won experience as a photographer - I wonder how he would feel to be, yet again - and finally - immortalised as 'first cousin to the Queen'.
Thursday 10th November 2005
I was thinking...
Very good, Minister.
Perhaps we could go a little further with this idea of showing the Chinese some parliamentary democracy in action...
Yes, Minister?
Some vote in Parliament..This 90-day nonsense, for instance. What if we, you know...
Lost, Minister?
Well, no, not lost, obviously. Came second. By a vote or two.
Followed by unsympathetic press coverage?
Perhaps a little. Mr Murdoch...
Interviewers asking if this marks the end for Mr Blair? General public jubilation? Bonfires?
Fireworks?
I think you'll find we've banned fireworks, Minister.
Wednesday 9th November 2005
This visit by the Chinese chappie..
Yes, Minister?
I don't really have to lecture him about democracy, do I? It seems a little.. inhospitable.
Well, Minister, there are those who would argue...
I'm thinking: action not words. Show and tell! Hmm? Hmm? Let's demonstrate that a well-controlled state can tolerate active dissent.
You'll recall, minister, what happened with demonstrations last time a Chinese premier visited these shores.
Or rather what didn't, eh, eh?
Quite, Minister.
Well this time, let's keep the anti-Chinese demonstrators on the right hand side of the road...
And the pro-Chinese on the other? A splendid idea, Minister. And where are we to find these pro-Chinese demonstrators?
Oh I dare say their embassy chappies will be only too happy to help.
One other suggestion if I may, Minister.
Go on.
The seating arrangements in the coach...
Oh! Premier Hu on the...left?
Just so, Minister.
Tuesday 8th November 2005
It seems appropriate to repeat here the story of the Independent's Janet Street-Porter, who, while filming a documentary about modern education last year, tried to prompt the children at a school assembly to grasp the importance of apology.
"Children," she said, "in every family home, there's a word which people find it really hard to say to each other. It ends in 'y'. Can anyone tell me what it is?"
There was a pause while everyone racked their brains, and then someone called out, "Buggery?"
- Lynne Truss, in Talk to Hand, which Jonathan was kind enough to give me for my birthday.
Monday 7th November 2005
Quite why it was necessary to create a search engine on an airliner remains unclear - some kind of Strangelovian scenario presumably, designed to keep the Google flag flying when Armageddon breaks out down on the ground?
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