October 3rd - October 9th 2005
Sunday Ego
Saturday Rotherhithe
Friday Rats
Thursday Strip cartoon
Wednesday Shopping list
Tuesday Fienne-dish
Monday Thwacking
Sunday 9th October 2005
The early parts of the book give only a few indications of the rampant and disfiguring egotism to come, with Donovan unable to resist mentioning his key schoolboy achievements. ("In time I rose to the position of House Captain.")
The trouble starts when the young Donovan turns seriously to music. "As I listen to my earliest recordings," writes the older one, "I am surprised to hear I was a virtuoso of all the folk-blues guitar styles by the time I reached 17." (His surprise, you feel, probably wasn't overwhelming.)
Each new record or gig is accompanied by a glowing review - occasionally quoted from a journalist of the day, more often supplied by Donovan himself. At one point, he lists all the people who have ever covered his songs, up to and including James Last, the New Christie Minstrels and Jasper Carrott.
He retains his bullish tone long after his career is in decline. ("The single Atlantis was particularly successful in Germany, Austria and Switzerland.") Above all, he talks constantly about the importance of self-awareness, while displaying absolutely none of it.
- James Walton reviews Donovan's biography
Saturday 8th October 2005
Rotherhithe, Summer 2005
Friday 7th October 2005
If you travel late in east London, as I do, you may have been disconcerted, as I have been, by the regular closure of the Limehouse Link.
The most obvious explanation, that they'd closed the tunnel to change the light-bulbs, or re-paint the walls, lost credibility after the fourth closure in as many days.
But now, thanks to a rambling conversation with a black-cab driver, I can bring you the truth of the matter:
Rats. Thousands of them.
Thursday 6th October 2005
(Uploaded prematurely but now complete)
Last night's Amateur Strip plumbed new heights (or depths) or surreality.
The first contestant - well, we'll come back to the first contestant.
The second contestant was a friendly-looking, if slightly plump, Mexican (something of a change from a recent long run of bisexual Brazilians) who pleased the crowd by literally ripping off his 2xists - a brave investment, considering he stood to win £100 at best, and something the host(ess) rapidly subverted by whipping out a tape measure to line up alongside his (not overly impressive) cock.
The third contestant claimed to be from Uruguay (so was probably Brazilian), frowned a lot and, on closer inspection, turned out to be approximately four foot tall. He chickened out of removing his pants and was disqualified.
The fourth contestant was young, skinny, charming (and, if I recall correctly, a self-confessed Brazilian). He also had improbably saggy balls.
The fifth contestant called himself Victor and said he was from Tooting. Which seemed improbable, somehow. Not that it mattered, given he wasn't actually in the room for most of the time, but off on some private planet of his own.
The sixth contestant looked like a twelve-year-old and had to be talked into it (that took all of five seconds). We'd seen him several times before, but this night was given an extra frisson by his telling the compere that he was here with his boyfriend, who he'd been dating for several weeks now, but whose name he couldn't quite remember. He stripped down to his absurdly large boxer shorts, and then stopped - on the grounds that he'd just had an operation and didn't want to show us his scars.
So, naturally enough, the crowd declared the first contestant the winner.
How to describe him? Think Catweazle crossed with Shylock: tall, elderly, stooped, large bottle-thick glasses, lank hair that started halfway back across his head and hung to his shoulders, looking slightly disconcerted to have been whisked by magic directly from behind the counter of his second-hand bookshop in Prague. And wearing a drab brown cocktail dress that came down to his ankles.Trust me: he looked better with his clothes on.
Wednesday 5th October 2005
What I bought at the end of the afternoon at Borough Market this Saturday (and, slightly more to the point, what I paid for it)
250g Baixadao coffee beans £5.00
4 slices black pudding £2.69
3 Westmoreland sausages £2.50
200g smoked back bacon £3.41
6 free-range eggs £1.30
1 loaf rye bread £1.00
1 loaf cheese bread £1.00
300g Tomme de Savoie cheese £3.75
200g Boquerones £4.00
1 sea bass £4.00
12 tiger prawns and 200g wild salmon £4.00
400g wet walnuts £1.80
6 tomatoes £1.40
400g charlotte potatoes £0.48
2 heads of chicory/endive £1.00
1 frisée lettuce,
1 yellow pepper,
2 small heads fennel,and
100g horse mushrooms £3.90
(Next week: how much of it I actually managed to consume)
Tuesday 4th October 2005
You thrilled as Nigel Farndale sank to his knees in an erotic swoon whilst interviewing Joseph Fiennes, his incisive questions throttled by a sudden onset of saliva.
Join us now as we imagine Nigel's embolic reaction to what we can only describe as: Fiennes has problems with his knob.
Monday 3rd October 2005
Blogadoon, he explained, is the mystical ephemeral blog that roves untraceably around the Blogosphere like some demented window whacking wasp, thwacking into and out of existence like nobody's business.
Shall you tell them, or shall I?
......previous week
