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º Friday 27th April 2001

BLOGADOON SPECIAL: David walks across London

0730: One day soon, David will be able to Walk Across London tapping in regular reports to Swish Cottage from his mobile as he goes. Or finding public terminals at every corner.

In the meantime, he's using me as his cyber-Boswell - regular reports here throughout the day.

0800: David is at Canning Town, under a fly-over, somewhat directionless - last heard of heading towards Canary Wharf.

0915: David has made giant westward strides and was last heard of disappearing into the subways at the Aldgate Barrs shopping centre.

Having already walked (north of me ) past the White Swan and Sailors Sauna (at Limehouse ), he has not failed to notice, and giggle at, the number of "Seaman's Missions" in the area. (I assume he knows that these were the result of a turn-of-the-century evangelical thrust into the 'wickedness' of the East End, ha.)

He says he intends to cross Tower Bridge, proceed along the south bank of the Thames, and perhaps have lunch in Soho (a mission-critical moment, no doubt.)

0945: David was last heard of fighting his way through the traditional rush-hour crowds at London Bridge - but the call ended very abruptly, so he could be under a bus by now. (I forgot to point out that if we'd all tuned into this webcam we could have got him to wave at us as he crossed. Ah well, maybe next time.)

1005: The sun is out, and David is here, at what the map seems to think is "Pop Galery" but which we know as Tate Modern. Hopefully he's going to stop for a cup of coffee; this pace is killing me. (At this rate he'll be at Heathrow by dusk!)

1100: The Westward Ho' didn't stop at the Tate, but carried on northwards across Hungerford Bridge and is now sitting scoffing a club sandwich ("Every type of meat known to man, plus cheese") outside Comptons Café in the heart of Soho. Pop down and buy him a coffee, why not?

Concepts such as "sore feet", "aching thighs" and "blisters" are beginning to be mentioned. Given that he has a date to dance away his birthday with about a hundred men on Saturday night, how much further will he go? Stay tuned.

1115: Well, you missed the chance to buy him a coffee, He's now walking through Berwick Street market (quote gorgeous fruit in the sunlight unquote) and planning to head to Kensington through Hyde Park. (Probably a little early in the year to hope for any tottie with its shirt off in the sunshine, though we can but hope.)

1142: David's first experience in Mayfair (so now we can be certain he never worked as a rentboy). He was last heard of outside the Dorchester, staring wistfully westwards at Hyde Park across an untraversable six-lane stream of traffic...

1232: After a half-hour off, David now has his shoes back on and is heading south towards the Serpentine Gallery. The mirages are starting to kick in though: he claims to have just seen Yasser Arafat being wheeled across the park, and wants points for noticing that this year's colours for the elderly are "cream, taupe, beige and fawn".

Spotted: a woman in tweeds walking very briskly eastwards - "Slow down, love, you'll never get to Canning Town at that rate."

And apparently there's a sign on Park Lane that points directly into the traffic: "Princess Diana Memorial Walk".

1340: Serpentine Gallery closed, so our intrepid hero carries on past the Albert Hall and Kensington Palace (and a pond marked "Shallow water: do not jump") to a cyber-café on Kensington High Street, where he checked his mail (for which he thanks y'all).

A sign on a car reading "Japanese Chin on Board" outside the Commonwealth Institute made our wanderer wonder - but there was no chin to be seen, so it was somewhat of a chinless wonder, Wanda.

Onwards (with fading mobile batteries) - to Chiswick?

1423: David is having a well-earned pint at the Blue Anchor, on the river at Hammersmith.

1538: And so our saga wends to a footsore close, eight hours and fifteen crow-miles from Canning Town, amidst the Palladian splendours of Chiswick House, a short stagger beyond the Hogarth roundabout.

David says the seaman's missions of Limehouse feel like something he saw on a holiday once, many months ago. Now he plans to totter up Chiswick Lane (past where he first lived when he came to London), and take a final tube ride home to West Hampstead.

Watch for a more leisurely exposition at Swish Cottage sometime soon. Well done la - treat yourself to one of these.

......latest Blogadoon