October 25th 2004 - October 31st 2004
Sunday Hallowed
Saturday Simpering
Friday Say...
Thursday Iconic
Wednesday Buzzy
Tuesday Spiteful
Monday Striking
Sunday 31st October 2004
Ten reasons to make Hallowe'en the new Christmas
Excellent themed parties and club nights
Healthier diet (pumpkin/apples/gingerbread/marshmallow)
Children encouraged to leave home whilst adults stay in and get drunk
No bank holidays - bosh, and its over
No present-giving traditions, hence limited commercialisation
Wide ethnic span (Day of the Dead meets Zombies meet Caspar)
Very popular with gay men (hello, cosmetics! hello, bizarre costumes!)
Weather - cold, certainly, but none of that deep and crisp and even bollocks
Close proximity to Bonfire Night: flash, bang, wallop
Simple yet meaningful mission statement: 'Everybody dies' (as opposed to some vaguely understood story about reindeer and mangers)
Saturday 30th October 2004
In a week ripe with prospects for clever political satire (the oi-interventions of Robert Kilroy-Silk, a tired and emotional Prince Harry, and Buttiglione 'Mired by gay flap', to name just three), I confess that nothing has given me quite as much simple pleasure as reading Hunter S Thompson's vituperative description of George Bush as a baffled little creep and Tony Blair as his simpering little whore.
Friday 29th October 2004
Mr President, could we talk about the FBI investigation into Haliburton, and the missing explosives?
Sure..hey, you seen the latest news from Fallujah? Do the words 'whup' and 'ass' mean anything to ya?
Thursday 28th October 2004
Sit ye down, Sadie's just fetching some ice. What can I get you to drink?
- Well...a martini would be nice.
Oh...I'm not sure we...I'll just see if I can rustle up some vermouth...
- Sorry. I assumed with those two martini glasses so prominently displayed...
Yes, they're nice aren't they? Of course, we don't actually drink out of them. Far too valuable.
- Really?
£4.8k the pair (pause) The Pharmacy sale?
- Oh, Damien Hirst glasses! All becomes clear!
Yes, look, there's his signature.
- Not that he actually made them himself, of course.
Well, no. (laughs) But. You know.."Studio of.."
- Quite, quite. The design is his. (pause) Inasmuch as it's possible to design something as iconic as a martini glass, ha ha...
And the provenance, of course. Pharmacy. Landmark in...well, landmark. Ground-breaking...thingy. All that.
- Did you ever go? To Pharmacy? It was just up the road from here, right?
God no, Sadie said she wouldn't be seen dead...Not really our kind of crowd.
- Still. Who can tell which famous lips may have caressed those rims, eh?
Yes indeed.
- These did actually come from there? I mean, for 2.4k a pop, you presumably get some sort of certificate or something?
Well...
- Because Pharmacy closed in, what, 2003? And these seem to be dated...2004?
Sadie! Where the hell's that ice? Excuse me...
Wednesday 27th October 2004
MTV Europe have invested heavily in a new drama series, based on the life and times of two cannabis dealers sharing a flat.
And the title?
Tuesday 26th October 2004
Aspiring bloggers might want to take note of the coverage of the death of Daily Mail writer Lynda Lee-Potter, especially the formula for a top Fleet Street columnist as laid out in the Independent's coverage:
The technique is to start with a set of basic and fairly obvious hates and enthusiasms and apply these core values judgementally to people and situations in the news.
Lee-Potter railed against hypocrisy, pretentiousness and self-regard, while lauding modesty, fidelity, decency and achievement.
Along with the best of her fellow columnists, she sought to share the prejudices of her readers and put them into the words they would themselves have chosen if only they had the gift.
Works for me. (Well, not the modesty, fidelity, decency bit, obviously, but...)
An even more salutary lesson can be learnt from the contrast between the immediate economia (describing her as "The First Lady of Fleet Street, a trenchant and popular columnist, as well as a brilliant interviewer who knew the mind of Middle England better than any other") and the almost instantaneous backlash, led by potential competitor Janet Railway-Porter, who brought us all back down to earth a few days later by describing her work as: "spiteful...narrow-minded...evil and petty little homilies" written by "a shameless snob...[driven by] a deep-seated insecurity about other successful women".
Live by pen, die by pen - and nil nisi bonum be damned.
Monday 25th October 2004
Prince Philip has been spotted sporting a shiner of epic proportions. He says he fell in the bath.
......previous week
