May 16th 2004 - May 23rd 2004
Sunday Atwood would
Saturday Sticks, stones
Friday Blind testing
Thursday Pensioned off
Wednesday Doorsy
Tuesday No relation
Monday Achilles slash Patroclus
Sunday 23rd May 2004
Me (in heavy disguise): How hard would you find it to write a novel with, for example, Arnold Schwarzenegger as the protagonist?
Margaret Atwood: Now that's a challenge. Arnold the governor might be a little boring; Arnold the Terminator - well, it's been done. Maybe Arnold could wake up one morning and find that he's changed into a gerbil. A Kafkaesque take, as it were. This would allow for some inner monologues of interest. Possibly.
Saturday 22nd May 2004
Names I've been called this weekend: Sir, Mistah Eye-On, Valued Customer, Slag (as in: "Buy me a drink you slag"), John, David, Oh Wise One, Guv, Bruv (as in "Got a spare fag, Bruv?"), and Slut.
Friday 21st May 2004
Time to spare whilst waiting for the tube? Try imagining some random tests for blindness. (And if that fails, think: blind golf.)
Thursday 20th May 2004
The next time you hear an ambulance go by, consider this: In the Crimean War, the stretchers, if any were available, were carried by Chelsea Pensioners.
Wednesday 19th May 2004
"Anything else for you, sir?"
"No, ta."
"Eight seventy-two then please."
He whistles a few bars of 'Light My Fire' while he makes my change.
"One twenty, and eight. Thank you sir."
"No, thank you. I'll have old Doors tunes bouncing round my head for the rest of the night now."
"Oh, I've been feeling Doorsy all day."
Tuesday 18th May 2004
A shame to hear that Italian-born Sonia Gandhi has declined the position of Prime Minister of India: I'd rather looked forward to Italy returning the favour and electing an Indian.
Be that as it may, I'm sure I'm not the only person who's been pondering the exact relationship between Sonia Gandhi and the famous Mahatma of that name. Grand-daughter-in-law perhaps? Not really.
The first few degrees of separation are simple enough: Sonia Gandhi (née Maino) is the widow of Rajiv Gandhi the son of Indira Gandhi.
And Indira is the daughter of Mahatma Gandhi, right? No: Indira's father was the first prime minister of India, Jawaharlal Nehru (known as Pandit).
So it was Indira's husband who was related to the Mahatma? No: Mohandas K. Gandhi, later given the honorific Mahatma was married, despite his famous asceticism, and did have children - but none of them married Indira.
Indira's husband was a lawyer called Feroze Khan - a name that he later changed to Gandhi, perhaps with the Mahatma's active encouragement, perhaps not.
So: no relation. I'm glad we got that sorted out.
Monday 17th May 2004
Speaking of Troy, or rather Troy: anyone for some Brad Pitt-slash-Garrett Hedlund action?
Achilles? Patroclus? hello? hello?! HELLO!
......previous week
