March 29th 2004 - April 4th 2004
Sunday Nutshell
Saturday Think twice
Friday Q & A
Thursday Oh
Wednesday News for cynics
Tuesday The Monarchy is changing
Monday Run that gamut
Sunday 4th April 2004
Number of people killed in four crashed flights on September 11, 2001: 266
Estimated fall in domestic air-passenger miles as a result (last quarter 2001): 16 per cent
Estimated rise in fatal car-crashes due to extra road traffic (last quarter 2001): 8 per cent
Number of people killed in traffic accidents as a result: 353
Saturday 3rd April 2004
You might want to think twice before following this link to video coverage of the fate of the four 'civilian consultants' so horribly mutilated in Fallujah.
You might also want to think twice, after following this link, about just what these 'civilian consultants' were doing in Fallujah in the first place.
Friday 2nd April 2004
Overheard at the office
Me: Jesus. Yesterday's Guardian says the new Chairman of the BBC is going to be Peter Mandelson!
He: And the date at the top of the page was..what?
Me: Oh.
Matthew Parris on the British presence in Iraq? Read this.
Looking for that perfect Easter gift? Try this.
Robert de Niro as Tenessee William's love-child? See here.
Thursday 1st April 2004
Your search requests answered:
horse meat disco
Yes, looking forward to it: this Sunday, as far as I know, at South Central (Dukes as was)
blog sex "middle age"
Trust me, there is no sex one would wish to blog about once one reaches middle age.
Frederic Michalak gay
Who knows? But its certainly a nice thought.
swimming hard
Occasionally, but it can be embarrassing if you're doing backstroke.
"vagina" "creamed"
Or steamed, with a parsley garnish.
small short shirtless story
Shortly after that, I found myself standing in my smalls, shirtless and...
grubby fingernails
A matchstick works, if you can find one these days. Failing that, the corners of the pages of a library book.
la3 london
Yes, regularly at Sahara Nights in Kings Cross, from Easter Sunday, 11th April.
"erotic explosives"
You have a fertile mind. Or do I mean fertiliser? You work for the CIA? Any news on that ricin find?
eiffel tower skirt
No idea, but maybe...Balenciaga? Ungaro?
fuck me now london sexy sex
You make a persuasive case.
who was the male prostitute in footballers' wives
No-one we know.
footballers wives getting dirty
Seems unlikely, short of mud-wrestling.
buses from london to spalding
You have the wrong blog.
slap charles kennedy
Er, I think we already did that.
Wednesday 31st March 2004
News for cynics
Islamic bomb attack foiled by raids in the heart of suburbia
No truth in the rumour that George W's first reaction was to yell: "Get me the Suburbian Ambassador now!"
One sympathises with the leader of the Liberal Democrats during the recent fuss about his absence from the Budget debate.
And then one reads the 'You Ask the Questions' piece in today's Independent, in which Charles Kennedy compares said absence to the three times he has not been present for Prime Minister's Question Time.
Complete this quote:
"To turn up at Prime Minister's Questions three days after having got married would have...
A: Been the grossest possible insult to the woman I love
B: Destroyed any credibility I had
C: Led people to question my motives in getting married in the first place
Sympathy also, though of a more complex kind, for Husam Abdu photographed quivering in his underpants after having bottled out of a suicide bombing mission in Nablus last week.
Reports suggested that 16 year old Husam, not the sharpest pencil in the box, was lured towards his potential death by the traditional promise of 72 virgins. (Which raises the picture of him standing in Paradise, whispering to his mate, "I think the one on the right really likes me!")
But before you get too outraged about the cynical motives of men who can send children on missions such as this, spare a thought for their precise identity...
And then back to today's terror arrests in the UK (described by David Blunkett, with more truth than perhaps he intended, as a "timely reminder").
Number of people previously arrested under the Anti-Terrorism Act? 548
Number of people convicted under the Anti-Terrorism Act? 5
Tuesday 30th March 2004
The Prince [William] was offered private changing facilities when he arrived at the trials but insisted on using the main changing rooms.
Well, that should keep several people I know in wank material for a while.
Monday 29th March 2004
Unlike, say, Marcus, I've pretty much given up writing about my so-called sex-life here on Blogadoon, mostly because of the steadily increasing odds that what I write here will be read by various people who are close enough to have some influence in my life yet not close enough to appreciate my own, um, peculiar personal style.
Such as the girl I work with who gave me a lift to the Swan a few weeks ago, and to whom I pointed out the gay sauna next door as she dropped me off: I spent the next week worrying that her mental image of a sauna parlour might not accord entirely with the reality - it's not as if I'm so badly off that I have to settle for assisted massage quite yet.
(As it happens, I got to air this concern to her a few days ago. "Oh I know about gay saunas," she replied. "I have a gay uncle.")
Suffice it to say that last Friday night at the Swan pretty much encapsulated the entire gamut of my current situation: a drunk middle-aged man that I know, but do not at all fancy, tried to stick his tongue down my throat, and one of the cute boys that I do fancy, but have never spoken to, took his shirt off on the dance-floor. (And even as I write that, I realise that it would be problematic to decide which of those events is the high-point, and which the low.)
But one soldiers on - with, ahem, occasional surprises - fuelled by the foolish optimism that, however much I repel myself when I catch myself in the mirror, there is no plumbing the vagaries of human taste.
Men in suits, for example. Doesn't do it for me. Yet there's definitely a sub-class of people whose yens are tickled by a collar and tie: I've even thought about getting a suit myself - as and when scientists discover a miracle crease-resistant fabric that shrugs off spilt Guiness with an insouciant shrug.
If men in suits suits you, you might want to pencil in an hour or so hanging around outside today's Gay Tory summit at Westminster. Carry a placard for maximum credibility. I wouldn't plan to stay too long though: somehow I foresee a plethora of lipstick lesbians.
......previous week
