March 8th 2004 - March 21st 2004
Sunday Slurs
Saturday Yadda yadda
Friday Final straw
Thursday Up yer b*m
Wednesday Watch out
Tuesday Josh and the City
Monday Correction
Sunday 21st March 2004
Surely only one short headline will do for the story detailing the rumours that Lib Dem leader Charles Kennedy has stage fright and suffers from alcohol problems: Kennedy slurs
Saturday 20th March 2004
The relationship between cyclists and motorists is one of London's great spectator sports. The other morning, a cyclist in Kensington High Street rode in the same lane as an expensive German car, rather than opting for a cycle path.
The driver erupted in rage, accelerating and, inevitably, raising a finger at the cyclist. The cyclist caught up at the lights, at which point one might have expected the usual self-righteous frown, shaking head and slapping the side of the car.
Instead the cyclist laughed. It was devastating. The motorist turned his head in misery and then cut pathetically in and out of lanes along the high street to escape his grinning tormentor. 
Just another bland blog entry?Well, no actually. It's an item from the regular column by Sarah Sands who edits the Saturday edition of the Daily Telegraph.
She gets paid to write this stuff.
Friday 19th March 2004
A perfectly random pack of drinking yoghurt, plucked with no thought from the supermarket shelf: pay for it, drink it - then read the carton:
The Reuteri Lifetop straw on this product has been clinically proven to deliver 99 million probiotic Lactobacillus Rueteri Bacteria to the digestive system. Used regularly this product: helps to maintain your body's defences, balances the digestive system
99 million helpful bacteria - and I didn't even know?
How long has this been going on?
Thursday 18th March 2004
Bizarrely enough, the week that saw (or rather heard) the first gay kiss on The Archers also saw the tabloids getting their panties in a twist, not only over yet another gay kiss on Coronation Street, but also about a far steamier decision from the notorious Footballers' Wives.
Following a campaign by The Star, the production team have been told to excise a planned scene showing a team member (he plays for our team) buggering a male prostitute and, oh the horror!, talking about it afterwards ("using phrases like 'up the s****er' and 'sticking his d**ck up someone's b*m" - the Star's asterisks).
"Family values campaigner" Dr Adrian Rogers [sic] is reported as saying "I despair. There is nothing healthy - or entertaining - about homosexuals having anal sex". (Not playing for our team, then.)
Meanwhile, over on Channel 4, Keith and David from Six Feet Under are interrupted, mid-snog, by the supposedly straight friend who is supposedly asleep on the couch, standing at their bedroom door complaining that it's cold out there and asking if they have room for one more...
(Incidentally, have you seen the promo that Channel 4 airs late at night, where a variety of familiar faces entertain us with answers to the (unvoiced) question "What would you like to do..." The posh one from Birds of a Feather is in there somewhere, staring into the camera, crossing her ankles and murmuring: "I think I'd like to fuck a black man".)
Wednesday 17th March 2004
John Mayer died on March 9 after stepping into the path of a Jeep the previous day while returning from an optician's appointment.
Tuesday 16th March 2004
Even without my newly rediscovered addiction to cheap television, it would be difficult for anyone half-literate to escape knowing that this week marks the last ever episode of Sex and the City. (I'm so no going to use their exclamation marks).
Although I'm a long way from having seen every episode of S&C (prior to this series I'd seen, what?, half a dozen shows), I warmed to it when I tuned in by accident a while ago to find myself watching something set at a gay underwear party.
Hey, something on tv that finally hits me where I live! And that recent line about the photo-caption "So now I'm just 'unknown middle-aged gay gentleman?'" rang a bell. Plus (yes, I'm shallow), I do like the look of Psmith...
Mostly though I sit there wanting to give each of the female leads a good hard slap, especially Carrie sodding Bradshaw in those absurdly over-the-top frocks. Not that she needs a slap, given that every time she enters a room she has a look on her face that implies her vibrator exploded inside her as she crossed the threshold.
These thoughts are spurred by the single most interesting observation about Sex and the City that I've read so far: "...Carrie Bradshaw is actually The West Wing's Josh Lyman in drag."
Gold star to Upside-down Hippopotamus, belatedly added to my blog-roll.
Monday 15th March 2004
......previous week
