November 10th 2003 - November 16th 2003
Sunday Coq
Saturday Mwah mwah
Friday Open season
Thursday Defused
Wednesday They say so much
Tuesday Bisexual?
Monday Banging up the bishop
Sunday 16th November 2003
God knows, I'm no patriot, and even less of a sports enthusiast...
But I have to admit I chuckled when I heard today's result.
And anything that might encourage Frédéric Michalak and his team-mate Clement Poitrenaud to abandon their current careers in favour of making porn films has to be a good thing, n'est-ce pas?
Saturday 15th November 2003
As I was saying to my friend the editor of TimeOut just last night, at the White Swan, I met Demetrious Panton at a club I used to go to several years ago, and the only thing that struck me as seriously disturbed about him was that he didn't want to go home with me.
(I'd have said the same thing to Stephen Daldry when I was introduced to him last week, but we were interrupted, which is a shame since I could have asked if he happened to know if Jeanette Winterson is really not much more than five feet tall, in which case that probably was her that I bumped into at The Vauxhall Tavern the previous Sunday.)
Friday 14th November 2003
Given that it's currently open season on Richard Curtis, director and writer of Love Actually, now seems as good a time as any to refer you to Martin Amis on Four Weddings and a Funeral.
Thursday 13th November 2003
Though credit is due to dear ex-PR-princess Sophie for so selflessly throwing her unborn child into the yawning royal credibility gap, the real hero of the story is none other than Mark Bolland, Prince Charles's erstwhile image-maker (himself incidentally gay) who selflessly utilised his long-standing relationship with the News of the World to publicly raise the question of the sexuality of the heir to the throne, thus defusing, at one single stroke, the entire clandestine rumour network which started the whole nonsense in the first place.
Wednesday 12th November 2003
Overheard at the office (part one)
Me: I had this long and involved dream last night in which I was employed as a bilingual marketing consultant to a small Italian patisserie making individual fruit tarts.
He: I dreamt I left my car on the bus.
Overheard at the office (part two)
A: I never throw my books away. They say so much about you.
B: Yeah, I always head straight for the books in a stranger's flat.
A: ...followed by the CDs.
C: I always go for the dirty laundry basket, me.
Tuesday 11th November 2003
Proof, if proof were needed, that St James's Palace is a long, long way from planet earth could be found in the denial by Sir Michael Peat, Prince Charles's private secretary, that he had once rung the Prince's PR man to enquire if HRH was bisexual.
In support of his denial, Sir Michael said: "Bisexual is a word I don't think I can ever remember using.".
Monday 10th November 2003
I'm sure I wasn't the only one thinking "You advertise your belief that a virgin gave birth, and you want me to get my head examined?"
Now, it seems, police are to investigate whether claims by the Bishop of Chester that homosexuals need psychiatric help constitute a hate crime.
Banging up the bishop? Now there's a nice thought.
......previous week
